311 + 69 = 420? dad hat
311 + 69 = 420? dad hat
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a comfy dad hat featuring a socially unacceptable ice-breaker/factoid. helps people immediately identify you as the person to avoid at any parties you may attend.
clothing info
clothing info
• 100% chino cotton twill
• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
• 6 embroidered eyelets
• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown
• Adjustable strap with antique buckle
size chart
size chart
| A (inches) | B (inches) | C (inches) | D (inches) | |
| One size | 20 ½-24 ⅜ | 4 ¾ | 3 ⅛ | 7 ½ |
sacred goblin lore
as the flame from the lighter sparks upward, a glow illuminates the man's face. cratered with pockmarks, his pale skin glows orange from from the smoldering tip of the freshly rolled joint. the shadows left by the 'dreads' hanging over his visage briefly disappear before reforming like flooding water as he pulls the lit joint from his lips. a deep exhale.
'yeah, i saw them in oh three... you wouldn't believe it... what's that? oh yeah that's one of their songs... you wouldn't believe...'
his voice trails off as the last of the smoke leaves his lungs, then his mouth, thin lips draws taut with a concerned expression. suddenly smacking his lips, his beady eyes dart down to the joint trestled precariously between his finger tips.
'oh yeah, you should hit this... don't worry... i didn't uhhhhhh...'
his eyes dart back and forth between you and the joint as he raises it up to you
'i mean it's not wet, just hit this shit.'
as you inhale, the first sensation that overcomes you is that of opening a bag containing stale breadcrumbs. the man stares expectantly at you and you awkwardly glance down at your new apple watch. the time reads 4:20